15 Hilarious Behaviors You Developed as a Nurse

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Your behavior defines who you are.

In psychology, for certain behaviors to develop, these are triggered by a stimulus – the environment where we spend most of our time. So if you ask me where can you find a nurse most of the time? I must say 70% in the workplace, 20% together with their families, and 10% in the bed sleeping (lucky nurses).

That’s why with the 70%, it’s plausible why there are some side-splitting behaviors we developed in the process. As experts in our own field, these hilarious behaviors might make others grin and shake their head in disbelief. In return we can say, “I know, I know… It’s because I’m a nurse.”

1. The overpowering desire to pop or puncture anything suspicious on someone’s body.

nurse porn
“Damn, I could insert a G14 in this vein,” says every nurse.

Curiosity is the lust of the mind. It can also be the reason why nurses seemed to have a sick fetish in anything suspicious or atypical in the human anatomy, may it be yours or others.

Is this some kind of a bizarre obsession that we all have in common? When we see a bulging lesion, a pustule, or most especially a protruding vein to hit upon, the desire and unknown euphoria it gives in popping or puncturing it are quite strong. And when we try to ignore it, the struggle is real.

2. X-ray-like ability to perceive organisms wriggling on the skin

xray-vision-che-rellom

This extraterrestrial ability to see the minute organisms in your hands after handling a gross procedure is undeniably another power you gained being a nurse. The effect? Frequent hand washing. Nursing made you feel incomplete whenever you fail to wash your hands numerous times during the shift.

3. Assertiveness in self-diagnosing

when were dying

Since nurses are doctor’s angels on the bedside, a simple disease won’t freak you out. Years of experience gave you the confidence to diagnose successfully and treat yourself. Don’t worry, your pride will also let you seek a doctor if it’s life and death situations, ONLY.

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4. You behave like an owl even on your day off.

night shifts

If you’re scheduled on a night shift throughout the week, your day off will not make a difference. It still feels like you’re on duty, minus the patients. Isn’t it frustrating why you’re not sleepy when you should?

5. The unstoppable condemnations on TV shows showing unrealistic nursing procedures.

nothing like greys anatomy

It’s your day off and you decided to watch a medical drama. Then all of a sudden, your eyes keep noticing that the doctor did not do the CPR right or the IV line regulator of a critical patient is closed. Well, you can’t help it, you can’t let a wrong procedure be taught on-screen. Nurses know best (wink).

6. It is always a sugar rush when you get together.

If you happen to be in a reunion of ER nurses, then this is a usual scenario. You can’t even beat them in games involving quick thinking. Wow! Awesome, quick-witted people.

7. You are immune to the ‘gross’ things in life.

You can normally eat and sleep even after handling sticky, smelly and nasty bodily fluids. Maybe because you just totally wiped out your gag reflex? Try to test it once in awhile; maybe it was placed somewhere else.

thanksgiving

Also, you can easily figure out a disease based on body fluids alone. Aren’t you a genius?

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8. You love it when people are shocked that you’re not wearing white, or your scrubs.

what to wear

There are only two occasions where nurses do not wear their white or colorful scrubs, on their day off, and upon retirement.  If you happen to have another lucky chance (yes, having a vacation is a great luck for us!), you just love how different you look, and the look you receive from others. Oh well, perks of being a nurse.

9. Medical emergencies outside the facility do not rattle you.

Most nurses are immune to medical emergencies; unless it involves their own family or relative (which will be a different case), these scenarios will just be a piece of cake.

10. You’re a master of quickly dressing and undressing a patient, even with an IV line.

For ordinary people, changing clothes of a bedridden patient can be a complicated task, but not with a skilled nurse, who is exceptional at this. Even with her eyes closed, you’ll be amazed by how fast a nurse can do this. But of course you don’t really have to close your eyes, just saying.

11. Extremely fast chewing and digestion.

nursebreakroom

Oh! need I say more? If there’s a contest where one should masticate and digest its food the fastest, you can’t belittle a nurse! To be able to attend to an emergency case, we developed this amazing talent of eating on the go!

12. Easy recognition of any pills on sight.

Recognizing a tablet, a vial or an ampoule on sight is another remarkable behavior we automatically developed as nurses. This astonishing behavior is not just great by itself but by saving lives.

If you’re a nurse, you know that people on drama shows committing suicide by drinking quite a lot of pills are not dead at the end, they just get hospitalized for… well, the drama effect. Even before drinking, nurses know it’s not a pill.

13. The power to clear everyone on sight just by talking about your ‘normal’ experiences with your patients.

nurse-nonnurse

This can happen if you’re in a restaurant with co-workers after a tiring shift, while talking casually about your patients with amoebiasis, foul stoma, or an eviscerated intestine.  Nurses are powerful when it comes to that.

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14. Your hilarious behavior when a colleague says, “The unit is QUIET.”

If you’re a nurse, you have a bizarre behavior upon hearing the word ‘QUIET.’ The ‘Q’ word is so powerful it attracts a bunch of patients to make everything but quiet. It’s calm and easy then all of a sudden; all hell broke loose.

q-word

Lesson? Prevention of the word is better than curing all that patients.

15. Superb ability to hear even from a distant, as long as it’s for her patient’s welfare.

The tingling ear when you hear two people discussing that having a low BP is anemia, or to take maintenance medications only when the BP is high, can only be relieved without correcting them. Mind you, nurses can also be great educators.

Nurses may somehow be weird for others. But for us, these are the hilarious results of being passionate in the work that we chose. We must always take pride in how far we have come in our profession. Great nurses will always be weird yet interestingly loving creatures who touch the lives of others.

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